Apologies to a Fish

To my fish Trente: An apology for accidentally killing you


I am sorry that for my birthday
I wanted to by myself a fish.
I am sorry that I called my friend

Matt, the fish expert, and had him
meet me at the store on 37th. I am sorry
I rushed to the tanks like a child

at Christmas. I am sorry I loved
the electric blues of your body
and the magnificent fanning of your tail.

I am sorry I had the man bag you up
as I fretted over finding the perfect bowl.
I am sorry you had to ride the subway,

loud and unnerving, cooped up
in a brown paper bag. I am sorry I decided
to put you in the kitchen for convenience,

next to the whiny refridgerator. I am sorry
I ate sushi in front of you.
I am sorry for being too anxious

about feeding you, causing your water to cloud.
I am sorry for once putting you
in a shot glass as I changed the water.

I am sorry for changing your water again
too soon, shocking you to death. I am sorry
he had moved out a few months before.

I am sorry the void
was not yet filled. I am sorry
for trying to make you fill it.